Friday, November 10, 2006

What is it you see, when you look in the mirror?

Looking in the mirror is a difficult and daunting task. I see the lines that are starting to form at the edges of my eyes. I see the dark circles from many nights of sleep lost. I see the gained weight from years of not having time for myself, or not having the willpower to demand that time. I see the blemishes and each and every one taunts me. I see the crooked smile, the less than sparkling white teeth. I see eyes that are too far apart, hair that is not perfectly styled.

I look into those too far apart eyes, and I see a woman. A woman who has failed at marriage, twice. A mom who loses her temper. A nurse who is less than confident in her abilities. A daughter who doesn't spend enough time with her mother, and who abandoned her father at the end of his life. I see a little sister who, after years of being told to get lost, seems to have done just that.

I see a woman who is determined to look tough to all those around her, yet is terrified of what is to come. I see a person who doesn't want anyone to know that she needs anything. Is afraid to ask for what she needs from the years of having those needs rejected by those who were supposed to love her. I see a woman who feels she isn't worthy of the things that all humans need.

I see me.


JLA781 said...


Don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure there are positive aspects of you that you are ignoring and choosing to ignore. We all have things we aren't proud of. But we can't let those things dominate our lives. Remember loving one self is one thing. Loving one's self unconditionally, if far more important


crazymumma said...

I read a woman with a past. A woman with a heart. A woman on the verge of change....