Friday, December 15, 2006

Label: Not Smart Enough; Not Able to Learn New Things

not smart enough.........

This is one that plagues me from time to time. It is a strange one, since, I know I am smart. I know I am intelligent. I pride myself on that intelligence. Yet, there are times, in interacting with other people, that I feel I am not that smart....or not smart enough.

This most frequently occurs at work. And there are only a few people who seem to be able to have this affect on me. They are co-workers. I am not certain if they have this affect on everyone they interact with, I have heard rumblings of the such. I do not know if they do this intentionally, sometimes I think they do, sometimes not. I try not to let it bother me, but I tend to walk away from these interactions feeling less than adequate. This then leads into the next label.

not able to learn new things.......

In my job there are several extra courses that one must take. Being that I am in a rural setting, I don't only have courses for my specialty, I have to do courses for all specialties. I am currently enrolled in the MoreOB course for obstetrics, NRP for neonatal, I am considering the ACLS course for cardiac emergencies and have many of the nurses saying I should be taking the TNCC for trauma nursing. I feel incredibly overwhelmed by all of this, and I feel that there is no more room in my brain for anymore knowledge. I am afraid of failing. So I tend to not try.

I am certain the only way to really shed these labels is to actually enroll in the courses, do well, apply the knowledge and then, only then I will feel that I AM smart enough and I AM able to learn new things.

3 comments:

Desiree said...

We are what we choose to beleieve we are. That right there is so cruicial! We will remain that until we decide otherwise. Often though we can't decide to be anything different until we truly forgive ourselves for whatever it is that we need to forgive ourselves for. We can't be perfect but we can perfect aspects of our personalities. The key is focusing on the right aspects! Forgive yourself for not being perfect and for not being "everything" then perfect what you are...what you were created to be! Anyone reading you can clearly see what a bright, articulate and intersting indiviual you are. You have many wonderful qualities. Be proud of who you are! You are a beautiful human!

livewithrealme said...

I know exactly what you mean about not feeling smart. I also believe I'm intelligent but sadly, I never even got my BA. So you, my friend, would be someone whose intelligence would intimidate me. Food for thought. :)

P.S. wish I would have found your blog sooner! love the kind of internal speak-from-the-heart thing you do.

Mari said...

I agree-lately I've been trying to update my blog and add fun things to it. This should be easy. People do this all the time. Why doesn't it make sense to me?