I have been away a while. I took a small vacation away from the children and went to visit the most amazing man in my world. I always feel so wonderful when I am with him. He looks at me in a way that makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. He loves me so unconditionally. He lifts my spirit and lightens my heart in ways that I have not experienced since he and I were together many years ago. It is good to be with him.
I have some good friends as well. Friends who will tell me exactly what they are thinking, feeling....they will tell me when I have my head up my butt and actually help me pull it out. I cherish those friends. Even though it has been years since I have actually had the fortune to sit down with either of them face to face over a bottle of tequila. We keep up a friendship online through email and chat programs.
My family is a few hours away from me. I miss them and try to spend time with them when I can. My mother was just here for a few days, helping with the kids while I was away, and stayed on to visit. I love her dearly, but I find our time together can be so strained. I feel like she still thinks I am twelve years old. She comes in and takes over my home, rather than just being here and enjoying the time together. I find it difficult to have her in my home, and that makes me sad.
I am fortunate to have wonderful people in my life. My life is full. I have four healthy children and I, myself, have my health. Yet.....I am still searching for that inner peace and enlightenment.....