Friday, March 23, 2007

Anger and Resentment: Identifying It and Owning It

The first step to letting go of anger is to identify it. Know what it is that is truly making you angry about a situation. Anger can be a blinding emotion. When you are angry about something, often that anger can be directed at anyone in your path. This is really not constructive anger, and it can hinder relationships with many people.

For example, when my first husband left me.....I was angry. I lashed out at him, my children, his family, my family, myself. Then after he got remarried, a lot of my anger was directed at his new wife, for reasons I will not go into here. Needless to really say, that marriage has since dissolved as well. I was destructive and damaging. It was not a good situation at all. I carried that anger with me for a really really long time. A while ago I decided to really reflect on that anger. I asked God to please help me let go of it, as it seemed to consume me. I realized that a lot of my anger was at myself. I finally admitted to myself that I was not blameless in the breakdown of the marriage. I made some fatal mistakes. Of course, so did he, and it was the accumulation of mistakes that lead to the final break up.

It was in the realization of what I was really angry about, that finally set me free of that anger. When I owned the anger, embraced it and admitted it, I could finally set it free. And by setting it free, it in turn set me free.

It is the key to freedom from debilitating anger and resentment, to identify it and own it.

5 comments:

Desiree said...

You are so right indeed! Relinquishing anger can be a little difficult for some. I suggest visualization techniques to anyone struggling with letting it go once they own it. Great post Iris!

Patience said...

I think that involves forgiveness and acceptance. Once you can forgive - yourselves as well as others - and once you can accept the things you are powerless to change, then, only then, are you free enough to move on with your life.

May you continue to find peace in your life!

deb said...

You're so right. When I realized I was mad at my mother for getting old, childish I know, then I wasn't angry anymore.

I have a harder time letting go of my anger over stupid, hurtful things I've done to others and to myself. It's coming, it's just a slow, slow process.

sweatpantsmom said...

Great post. Letting go of any emotion is so difficult, but definitely the first step in healing.

flutter said...

I could learn to handle this, better. Thank you for this wonderful post.